Ilnoitra

Lord Protector

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Forever and Always. by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Forever and Always.

An oath made easily, with no doubt in my mind. A vow I spoke often, and received in kind. How is that I fear what all around me desire. Her driven away, and my future lit afire. “I’ll never let you go”, but I guess I’ll drive you away. So many tears shed in agony, I though that was the price I had to pay. So now I forge my masks once more, to hide me being ripped apart. I smile at them and say “yea it’s just a fresh start.” “Never contact me again”, I said with anger I never truly bore. I can’t just be her friend, because my life to her I swore. Forever And Always, My Heart rema

The Broken Vow by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

The Broken Vow

I promised her forever, but I couldn’t even give today. I promised her till the end of the world, and then I turned away. She promised me forever, and it was a price she was willing to pay. She promised me forever, and I tore her heart away. Sins I have committed, but it’s not my punishment at stake. Sins I have committed, but it’s HER mind that gave way. Sins she committed, and she admitted her mistake. Sins she committed, and it was all it took for me to break. How weak I must have been, to tell her to stay away. How weak I must have been, to let our bond decay. How strong will I need to be, with no one to help me se

Too Much by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Too Much

A single choice, an unwanted touch, Just one more thing can be Too Much. You struggle hard because the path is rough, But you know you will never be Good Enough. She cries and tries to apologize, But all those promisies just turned Cruel Lies. So many times she said it would be ok, But today you learned the truth she Hid Away. And now you sit alone and cold, Wondering why you were So Bold. A future, a life, with your perfect wife, Cut away by her words like a Sharp Knife. You don't want to hear what platitudes she has to throw, So you Cry and you scream for her to "Just Go". So Here you sit, craving just one more touch, Knowing that It would be Too Much.

Bonds by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Bonds

Thin as a whisper, Strong as the tide. You try and show her, What lives inside. A saint made of sin, A fear made of dreams, A heart full of love, tearing at the seams. All this you share, without caution or pause, But still you beware, for you've given just cause. No one would blame her, No one would Dare, If she said "with all this you favor, You just pretend to care. You give me these gifts, Ill give you my truth, You lie with those lips, So there's Nothing for you."

Mixed Perceptions by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Mixed Perceptions

Crystalline ships leaving a bloody sea Pitch black vessels who wont harm a thing. Oracle who refuse to share what will be The beautiful siren who only wants a ring. Faithless Paladins on an unholy crusade Pious cultists with a charitable scheme, The miser with some debts not yet paid The beggar who starts his regime. Is our perception so truly flawed, that these seem like unlikely things? Or is it just we are so easily awed, by the bright seemingly wonderful things.

The Last Call by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

The Last Call

I don't know why I am doing this but here I am, Even though this always ends in tears. So I guess now I break the dam, And make liars of those who say I am wise beyond my years. I'd sell my soul to free you of that sorrow, Even though you probably curse my name. All the time we ever shared was borrowed, And the interest was paid in pain. Why is it I felt so hollow, When I said God will forgive me my sins. Haven't I paid my penance for breaking their tomorrow, or is it just that this is the fate of He Who Wins. So I compound this folly, And swear not to lie. All I wish to fix this melancholy, Is to see your reply.

Destiny by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Destiny

A shot in the dark I was sure would be missed, A last ditch effort to get back what I wasted. A shining light in the pit in which I reside, A leap through my fears left it to her to decide. A spectre of hope was all I had left, I chanced it despite the risk of being bereft. I coined off my plights to open her heart, I prayed she would help and give me somewhere to start. The start she did give, but its my life to live. A list of oaths nine items long, were all that told me where I belonged. I exist outside the promises bound, The strands of my fate are yet unwound. But what is a knight with no liege to obey, What is a queen with no ser

I miss you... by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

I miss you...

I miss my greatest weakness, replaced by the dark allure of the abyss. I miss the delicate flower, that sapped from me all my power. I miss the one who loved me for my light, and hated who I was when it was time to fight. I miss she whom I knew could never truly love me, as much as I wished out love would be. I miss she who blamed me and shamed me, for doing things for her even when they didn't seem to be. I miss she who bade me to keep living, even when I thought my death was the gift that would keep giving. I miss her and love her despite our past strife, even though even though she tore me out of her life.

Left Behind by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Left Behind

A man alone in an empty home, His Lord moved on and left him to roam. What is left for him to be, When a broken past is all he can see. Opportunities galore he could reach with hardly a task, but to think of the future is to much to ask. The past is the world in which he resides, No one understands him except those inside. Vision of failures are all that is in his view, when that is your inspiration what is one to do?

Pain or Hope? by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Pain or Hope?

Is it pain or hope I feel? Is it my waking hours or my dreams which are more real? Are these images my deepest corruption which doth god offend? Or are they visions of what should be true, which from him did descend? Must I tear out my soul to break this hold? Or do I simply need to leave my past in the cold? Am I a failed memory for her to try and forget? Or am I a missed opportunity for her to regret? Am I just torturing myself with a hope which can never be real? Or am I damning myself to eternal pain with these doubts I feel? Sweet Prismere blade take my head, For if it's this or death I'd rather be dead.

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Forever and Always. by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Forever and Always.

The Broken Vow by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

The Broken Vow

Too Much by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Too Much

Bonds by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Bonds

Mixed Perceptions by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Mixed Perceptions

The Last Call by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

The Last Call

Destiny by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Destiny

I miss you... by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

I miss you...

Left Behind by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Left Behind

Pain or Hope? by Ilnoitra, literature

Literature

Pain or Hope?

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The Broken Vow by Ilnoitra, literature

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The Broken Vow

Too Much by Ilnoitra, literature

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Too Much

About Ilnoitra

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Artist // Hobbyist // Traditional Art

June 19
United States
Deviant for 12 years
He / Him

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My Bio

I have lived a life of to many hurts, everyone i have ever trusted has turned their back on me, every time i open up someone uses that chance to drive a knife into my back. I can't even find solace in my own mind, because all i can think of are those whom i loved, and what they have done to me. And yes i know its morbid but it's how i am. XP

Favourite Visual Artist

???

Favourite Movies

Inception, Real Steel

Favourite TV Shows

dont watch

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Skillet, Evanesence

Favourite Books

Inheritance series

Favourite Writers

To many

Favourite Games

Bayonetta, Fallout, Dragon Age

Favourite Gaming Platform

360

Tools of the Trade

Sketchpad, pencil, and 6 cans of dr. pepper

Other Interests

To many

Posts

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Ilnoitra

Apr 3, 2021

Happy Anniversary.......

0 min read

I wish today meant nothing to me. But I will remember this as my anniversary long after it stopped being so. I woke up, reached for my phone, and had to stop myself. This is the second anniversary I didn’t celebrate. I got used to embarrassing her with over the top compliments and using the day as an excuse to be lovey, but I really used our anniversary to reaffirm that she was still there, and that everything would be ok. Instead I walked into my backyard and cried there so I didn’t wake anyone, saw the neighbors moving out and kinda wished that was me.

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Ilnoitra

Mar 30, 2021

I feel like I have lost everything. I lost the person who connected me to my family, because she passed away. I lost the person that matters more to me than anything because I drove her away. I lost my closest friend because I got drunk 2 years ago

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Ilnoitra

Mar 10, 2014

Element Test

0 min read

I has written way to many depressing things in a row so now its time for a random lighthearted ELEMENT TEST FIRE [X] You have a short temper. [X] You often act on your emotions without thinking first. [X] You are very competitive. [X] You like to play with fire. [] You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all. [] You prefer warm weather over cold weather. [X] You often lose control over yourself. [X] You can be quite reckless. [X] You sometimes hurt people without realizing it. [X] People have often called you insane. Total:  8 WATER [] You have a calm, laid-back personality. [X] You like to go to the beach. [] You r